As a disabled person, I’m not ready for lockdown to end

After many weeks in lockdown, we’re starting to see glimpses of normality: shops opening, people meeting up and schools opening their doors. Despite really wanting to gain these elements of normality, it still doesn’t feel right.

Due to changes in the shielding guidelines, I am no longer classed as high risk. This is because Cerebral Palsy was initially in the vulnerable group but later was recategorised as moderate risk. So, I technically can start resuming normality. Yet as a disabled person, I don’t want to.

Two metres distance?

The infection rate is still high, but it’s more than that. As someone with a visual impairment, I often rely on travel assistance to get around a train station and finding my seat. Obviously this could pose challenges to social distancing. Train staff also would have been in close contact with lots of other people that day. Even with charities like RNIB and Guide Dogs campaigning for people who have a visual impairment, changes to our independence is likely to be impacted for some time.

For example, my cane is 165cm. If I am alerted to an obstacle, person or object I am already too close. By potentially not being able to keep two metres distance due to my sight, I am putting myself and others at risk. As a result, many blind and partially sighted people who normally navigate independently with a cane or guide dog will now rely on others to ensure their safety. As you can imagine, the impact on confidence and practicality is huge.

Battling everyday inequality

Despite my concerns about the virus, I’m hesitant for a more personal reason. Being amongst the general public and being faced with stereotypical attitudes on a regular basis is frankly exhausting!

I’m used to working from home during the week and then gallivanting up and down the country on a weekend to see friends. Despite that physically being a big ask, it also is a mental strain. When I venture outside the safety bubble of home it can feel like getting ready for a battle. Will train assistance turn up? What if I’m put in the wrong seat and get shouted at by the public? Will someone make a hurtful (often innocent) comment that chips away at my confidence?

This might sound slightly dramatic. I fully appreciate that not every trip outside is such a challenge, but I never know what I’m going to be faced with. Having had a few months where I was shielded from those attitudes has truly made me realise how much of an impact it has. For me, and many other disabled people, it’s just part of daily life. So much so, we might even start to accept it. As someone who openly talks about disability online, it can become overwhelming and exhausting when regularly being faced with discrimination when just trying to go about my daily life. I believe my piece on a disability advocate who wishes to hide her disability sums it up pretty well.

Despite this, I am truly grateful for the times when people have been respectful or offered support. Kindness does happen, I just wish it was more often.

I know what it’s like!

Disabled people from around the world will have spent years being ‘quarantined’ due to their disability or condition. They haven’t been shielding from a virus, but their own body has prevented little or no contact with society. This isn’t something I personally experience, yet I still feel it has a large role to play and deserves to be acknowledged.

Imagine being told that it must be great not having to work or that lying in bed all day sounds like a dream. People have probably come to the conclusion that over a longer period of time this is tedious. Society has only experienced a glimpse of isolation during lockdown. I just hope this is remembered. You might have worked through a list of tasks and taken some downtime. However, what if you couldn’t do those things to keep yourself preoccupied due to limited energy or pain? The end of lockdown was unknown, but an end was promised. It is this uncertainty that can be the worst part. Disabled people who are unable to leave the house aren’t given the luxury of knowing it definitely will end.

Additionally, lockdown has made us so diverse in how we socialise. There have been live quizzes, zoom meetings and concerts from your own home. These adjustments have made it easier than ever for disabled people to be apart of the world. When you go back to normality, don’t forget the family members and friends who are still stuck at home. Don’t forget that these adjustments are possible.

Lockdown is easing, but normality is a long way off.

~ Chloe x