Cerebral Palsy: Transitioning from adolescence to adulthood

Making the transition into adulthood is never a smooth one. You have so many factors to consider and it’s a really pivotal point in your life. However, if you have a disability I believe the transition is both more complicated and harder. Of course, many different things can impact the transition, but today I‘ll be focusing on the role of self-awareness when you have Cerebral Palsy.

Understanding our disability and limitations

During adolescence it appears quite normal to gain a stronger knowledge of your own abilities and limitations. Often this can be more visible when comparing yourself to your peers and those around you.

As a result, seeing your disability as a negative throughout adolescence is unfortunately common. Despite a disability being a part of a person, it can be something that means we cannot relate to others. We also might feel that others don’t relate to ourselves. When putting this into context, it’s possible for people with CP to not feel part of their peer group, even with a group of friends.

The benefits of further understanding

However, a broader understanding of our disability can be gained through others with Cerebral Palsy. At the time it can feel like a light bulb moment and can have a big impact. For myself, it was like a massive weight had been lifted. The disabled community can be like another world, but this just illustrates how different we can feel without this knowledge. If you feel out of place when surrounded by non-disabled people, finding others with CP can help to mediate this.

Also, it’s clear that Cerebral Palsy can appear to have a controlling nature. You can have days when your CP is more in force than others, with unpredictable symptomology being draining. Yet it’s the understanding of fluctuation that can allow us to be deeply in tune with our bodies. This understanding enables us to advocate for a right to participate when we know it is within our capabilities.

Practical approach to life

When you have Cerebral Palsy you go through life with a logical and practical viewpoint in order to achieve things.

Often we reach a point where we must disregard our emotional standpoint on having CP in order to accomplish something. By doing so allows for a smoother physical transition. We might dislike highlighting our differences, but we understand the importance of this. It’s not uncommon for us to put support needs and raising awareness above the emotions around having CP.

We don’t have a choice

We don’t have a choice about needing support, yet that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It can feel like overcoming a large hurdle when we do decide to reach out. However, it’s tempting to downplay this as though it shouldn’t be anything special. Similarly, when telling people about our disability it can feel like we need to do so. An example of this is wanting to raise awareness due to feeling misunderstood. Yet if we’re heavily reliant on support, expressing our difficulties gives us the best chance.

If the transition included university or moving out, it would revolve around practicalities, surpass the joy of looking for a house or even deciding what to study. We need to ensure things fit our needs first, with this becoming a fundamental component of our lives. This again is very different to our peers who do not have as many factors to consider. As a result, we must become organised and plan things in advance. This takes an element of spontaneity away from us, yet we must have the reassurance that our needs will be met. Even if that’s just going on a train!

Mental and emotional impact

It’d be naive to think that a physical disability couldn’t have significant emotional and mental implications.

This can come from the emotional impact of facing limitations, or the psychological barrier to achieve things when striving for independence. I know the extensive pressure that we can put on ourselves to almost compete with our peers. Everyone will compare themselves to people around them, with disability often been seen as a negative, we‘re already at a disadvantage. The conflict between the way we view ourselves and the way we feel perceived is emotionally draining.

I often felt the mental pressures of wanting to keep up the achievements and workload of an non-disabled peer. It was the dedication of extra time and effort that allowed an level playing field to be perceived. Yet I know this isn’t unique to myself. We can find ourselves forgetting we have CP, leading us to be so downhearted when failing what we deem is the standard. Not only that, we can internalise these intense emotions and feel alone. We are capable of greatness, but don’t be too hard on yourself.

Reflecting on societal norms

However, the mental barriers aren’t always from others. It is equally possible for us to create boundaries, but also feel confined by our own thoughts. As a result, this can hindering the potential to gain further independence.

Becoming an adult can feel like a huge jump, especially when we need more support to begin with. There is sometimes a fear to take that jump. What if it goes wrong? What if we realise the true limitations of our disability and the impact it will have on our lives? It can take true determination to explore and accept this. As an adult it’s perceived that you are able to manage, yet when you have CP we might not see ourselves as entirely independent when relying on others. We should not underestimate this mental and emotional concept. We live with altered life experiences and are free to define our own version of independence.

Downplaying passion and aspirations can allow some people to mentally cope with the realities of their limitations. However, we do not need to follow the roads that have been paved by many adults before us. Realising this isn’t always pleasant, as it seems so much easier to just be normal. Despite this, it’s these mental challenges which will shape us into practical, strong and determined young adults.

Self- acceptance and confidence

I believe self-acceptance to be a fundamental concept for everyone going through the transition. However, like many other elements of life, it can take longer when you have a disability. I felt like I gaining confidence once I’d progressed through the transition, yet this was not without hard work. That being said, our level of self- acceptance is very individual, we all progress at our own rate.

Some people may see CP as a fact which shows a pragmatic outlook when dealing with acceptance. Self-acceptance can also give us confidence in our level of independence and allow us to progress. Conversely, it is not uncommon to hold onto the desire to be ‘normal’, with this being a reflection on societal norms. Even when we have self-acceptance, it doesn’t defer us from still desiring the norms from time to time. 

Unfortunately, our confidence can be knocked when of our peers gain more independence, with the difference in abilities becoming more noticeable. It’s easy at this stage to see our diagnosis as something that holds us back and gets in the way. I believe this is more so the case when we still have a higher level of reliance on others. Despite this, having CP does make us more self-aware. Due to this, I did go on to gain confidence in my abilities which helped to gain independence.

Gaining independence

Furthermore, independence is often key to self-acceptance and higher levels of confidence in our own abilities. The chance to grow up can be represented by the delayed independence we gain when in adulthood. It is also methods of adaption that often instil self-confidence and allow us to settle. When we do find ways around the challenge it can be a source comfort and achievement which shouldn’t go unnoticed.

Also, I believe breaking away from parents’ reliance can lead to gaining what we deemed to be normality. Our needs can be met without the dependability on parents, this can be tough for both parties but it’s pivotal. In contrast, if support is not properly implemented it can have a detrimental impact on our wellbeing. The importance of adult services and the need for support couldn’t be more critical for our independence.

Self- acceptance and confidence shapes our outlook towards disability, which also impacts our construction of identity. It’s safe to say that the transition into adulthood is crucial and will shape our outlook towards life.

~ Chloe x