Interactions with the general public according to Twitter

“So, what’s your story?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re so young but have a walking stick, what’s wrong with you?”

Oh taxi drivers! You never learn…

— Chloe Tear (@chloeltear) July 6, 2018

I understand taxi drivers like to make conversations, yet this is one of many very similar conversations I have had over the last few years. This may include commenting on my wheelchair, my stick or my splints- talk about stating the obvious! It is moments like this when I feel like my disability is all people see when they look at me. They instantly see the disability and nothing else. Similarly, being young and disabled appears to be an odd concept to people. Not only taxi drivers, even mobility aid companies often target their products towards the older generation. With that in mind, they miss out a lot of young adults who also rely on mobility aids to get around.

Major disability perk!

Just attempted to get onto a really crowded train and got pushed by so many people despite having my cane. I thought I was going to end up on the floor!

A member of staff has just taken me to first class, if that’s not a perk then I don’t know what is! ?#CaneAdventures

— Chloe Tear (@chloeltear) November 24, 2018

This was a great perk! These moments of joy can be pretty amusing and it was definitely not something I was turning down! We even got complimentary drinks and biscuits, no questions asked. I had reserved seats but with the train being that busy (I think the train before had been cancelled) this couldn’t have come at a better time! Who doesn’t want comfy seats and extra leg room? In all seriousness though, it was really dangerous for me to be push around. I could have fallen. People need to be more considerate. I don’t expect people to know why I’m unsteady on my feet. Yet the cane is a very obvious and visible symbol. It’s a good job someone stepped in when they did. They might not have seen my cane and that is fair enough, yet a bit of kindness (regardless of disability), goes a long way.

Going on a night out with Cerebral Palsy…

While on a night out, dancing and minding my own business…

Stranger: You’re walking like a f*cking T-Rex ?

Me: Thanks mate

What I wish I would have said: That’s what happens when you have Cerebral Palsy, you’re tired and you’re drunk!

— Chloe Tear (@chloeltear) November 1, 2018

I believe this highlights just how far we still have to go in terms for equality. Being drunk probably made him verbalise what he was thinking, when normally this might have been kept quiet. Unfortunately this isn’t the only rude comment I have received while on a night out. A few weeks after this I was called a grandma because of my fabulously yellow stick. Yeah, I pass it off as drunk idiots who I will never see again and I try not to let it ruin my night. I wouldn’t go as far to say that it will stop me going out, but it could- and that’s not okay. Again, it highlights how we are not seen as equal and this is really upsetting. You can wrap yourself in a bubble of family and friends who understand, almost ignoring other views. Yes, I know we won’t be liked by everyone, yet this is more than that. It’s discrimination. Surely we are entitled to a good night out as much as the next person?

A small gesture can go a long way!

Thank you so much to the people who work at the @FatFace in Leeds! I walked in and was asked if I wanted audio descriptions for any of the clothes they had!!! I don’t need people to do this but being asked was literally the loveliest thing ever! ❤️ #CaneAdventures pic.twitter.com/pMYNALzfPJ

— Chloe Tear (@chloeltear) April 6, 2018

The memory of this just makes me so happy! I personally do not need things describing to me, yet the thought meant so much. It was also proven that I wasn’t alone in thinking this concept was incredible, the tweet itself went viral, which led to a BBC Radio Leeds video being created. Those little moments of kindness can mean so much, especially when often faced with negative views when out in public. Disabled people wanted to be treated like everyone else and be as independent as possible, this woman achieved that with one simple question. She wasn’t offended when I politely turned down her offer and she didn’t insist I needed this support- two things that often happen. It may sound cheesy, but it made me feel like a valued customer.

The shock of independence

Woman: Oh so you’re at university?

Me: Yeah, I study at Leeds Trinity

Woman: Ah okay, so you live at home?

Me: No, I live in halls at the moment

Woman: Oh good for you!! Well done! That can’t be easy!

When will a disabled person living away from home stop being so magical!

— Chloe Tear (@chloeltear) November 10, 2018

Constantly surprising people is not always a good thing. This woman was so lovely. She had even worked with SEN pupils before. In that respect I tried to let the comment slide, yet the more I thought about it the more I couldn’t believe what she actually said. She was so shocked I didn’t live at home! I’m aware my level of independence is thanks to my Personal Assistants, but surely I deserve that? That being said, I chose to move back into halls this year because of the accessibility. During my second year of university I chose to live off campus in a shared house with friends. By doing so meant getting a train into university whenever I had lectures. In the grand scheme of things, it was not a bad journey, but did affect energy levels. Living at away from home may come as a shock to some, but it actually is the most practical solution.

You should see the size of the text on my phone…

I just love being glared at for using my phone in public when I have my long cane…

All I’m doing is waiting for a train!

What they don’t know is that the text on my phone is huge…

Not everyone who uses a cane is completely blind. ?#CaneAdventures pic.twitter.com/SxUCyQLh8x

— Chloe Tear (@chloeltear) October 5, 2018

Being judged for using my phone when I am out and about is something that worries me a lot. Not because I am incapable of using a phone, but because of the stereotypes that everyone who uses a long cane is completely blind. I’m living prove that this is not the case, as well as the other 95% of people who are registered as blind or partially sighted! I think about this even more so if someone has just offered me a seat, thinking they’ll believe they shouldn’t have given it to me. Before using a cane myself, even I was surprised to learn it would benefit myself as much as it does. Therefore, I am not surprised by some of the reactions I get from the general public. However, this week a picture of a woman on her phone while using a long cane has gone viral on Facebook, with many people accusing her of faking blindness… I don’t think I have the words to describe how awful this is!

Why do I share these moments? Like most things I do, to raise awareness. It also astonishes me how many people can relate to my own experiences. These comments are not as rare as you think, with these posts only scratching the surface. Often the remarks are harmless. People don’t go out of their way to cause offence and in that respect I can’t get too annoyed by what they say. It’s also nice to share the moments that go well. The moments when you feel like everyone else.

Have you had a similar experience with the general public? What do you believe needs to be done to change perceptions of disabled people? Let me know in the comments below of join the discussion over on my Twitter @chloeltear.

~Chloe x