Becoming disabled: Advice from the disabled community
People don’t expect to become disabled. Yet it’s more common to acquire a disability then it is to be born with a condition or impairment. I appreciate that it’s a lot to take in. You find yourself in this whole new world. Fortunately, the disabled community have lots of advice.
The latest estimates from the Family Resources Survey indicate that 14.6 million people in the UK had a disability in the 2020/21 financial year. This represents 22% of the total population.
UK disability statistics: Prevalence and life experiences (UK Parliament)
I was born with cerebral palsy and then experienced sightloss from the age of 18. I’ve always been disabled, but I have also acquired a condition. I’d like to think this gives me some experience of ‘becoming disabled’, yet I cannot begin to imagine what it’s like if the world of disability is a new concept.
Read more: My shifted perception of disability
Since starting my blog, the disabled community have had a significant impact. They have helped me to understand my own experiences, know what support is available and allowed me to find people who I can truly relate to.
Therefore, I could not have written this blog post without asking the disabled community for their thoughts.
You’re allowed to grieve
I cannot stress this enough. It is only by grieving that you can process what is happening. You’re allowed be angry and fed up. You’re allowed to lose hope and want your old life back. It’s how you then move forward that can shape your view towards disability. This doesn’t happen overnight, so be kind to yourself.
It’s a grieving process. This is natural and you need to give yourself the mental space to work things through, and be prepared for setbacks. Reaching acceptance doesn’t mean “giving up” – it’s fine to be disabled, and life will be much easier (and more enjoyable) once you adapt to your new reality.
Sophie
When coming to terms with disability, I found the social model of disability so interesting. The social model was developed by disabled people and is a way of viewing the world. The social model says people are disabled by barriers in society, not because of the condition they have.
Barriers can be physical, like not being able to access a building. Others can be caused by people’s attitudes towards disability, like assuming disabled people cannot be successful. If we remove physical and attitudinal barriers, disabled people can access the world and go about their daily lives. It’s not their condition or impairments that disables them from society.
This concept really helped me accept being disabled and empowered me when needing support.
Social model of disability (Scope)
Remember it’s normal to feel down, bad and frustrated with life. It takes a lot of energy to adapt and work out ways of doing things, but there is still so much you can do. You may even discover new skills! You still have so much to offer to the world too.
Laura Cook
Get the support and equipment you need
You might need mobility equipment to carry out daily tasks. Being reluctant to this is completely normal. It’s a big change, but there are so many things out there that can help. I appreciate that it’s easier said than done, but use something if it helps. You’re allowed to use equipment and your needs are valid.
Read more: Realising you’re reliant on a long cane
Internalised ableism
It’s not uncommon for disabled people to not feel ‘disabled enough’ when it comes to using aids. This can be down to internalised ableism and is something I’ve experienced over the years. Internalised ableism is when a disabled person discriminates against themself by internalising societal views. For example, they might think that:
- disability is something to be ashamed of
- receive support means you have failed
Be kind to yourself. Many adaptions are simple, but can make a big difference to the quality of your life.
Working to address internalised ableism is a must. As a Long Covid patient I’m still experiencing issues when walking due to a balance issue, which has not been fun. I finally got a sparkly walking stick this morning to deal with this issue. It’s fluctuating but I smile now…
Lydia Wilkins
What support is available when I become disabled?
When looking at what support is available, here are a few things to get you started:
- Personal Independence Payment (Scope)
- Benefits calculator (Turn2us)
- Apply for a needs assessment by social services (GOV.UK)
A needs assessment can give you access to equipment and physical support. They also can do a carers assessment if you live with someone who’s supporting you to manage your condition or impairment.
Contrary to popular belief the government doesn’t give you what you need as a disabled person. Everything is a fight. Be prepared for it and get support from your family, friends and relevant organisations.
Shani Dhanda
It would be unfair to say it’ll be easy. However, if you know what support is available, you can advocate for the things you need. You deserve to live a happy life and that might mean you need certain support to do that. If you feel you’ve received the wrong decision for a benefit or social care, you can appeal, reach out and get support if you need to do this.
You’re not alone
Firstly, it’s okay if you don’t identify as disabled. You are in control. Your view of disability will probably evolve as you do. Even if you never want to ‘be classed as disabled’ that’s okay. For myself, it took a long time. Just knowing I wasn’t alone really helped me. If someone asks me for advice, I always point them towards the online community of disabled people.
It’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to not know all the answers to everything.
Emily Davison
Being disabled takes a lot of time and training if you will.
It’s a learning process and sometimes in life you need teachers to teach you how to do things.
There are 14.6 million disabled people in the UK who are on your side. The online disabled community has so much knowledge and lived experience to share. We share aspects of our lives to raise awareness and so others don’t feel alone. Scope have an online community which allows disabled people to share experiences and connect with others.
You can also look on social media. I especially like to follow other disabled people. This means my Instagram and Twitter feed is full of disabled content creators and advocates. For me, this has normalised disability and ensures I am surrounded by online content that I can relate to. Not only that — I’ve learnt so much!
Recognise the value of the community and allow us to help you!
Lucy Webster
Becoming disabled is like entering a whole new world, and that’s scary. Reach out to others when you can. It might feel like the end, but I hope one day you can look back and see it as a new chapter. A new chapter of life that can still contain joy, dreams and love.
~Chloe x
