Realising you’re reliant on a long cane

This was never meant to happen.

Back in 2016 I started to lose my sight, by 2017 I was registered as partially sighted and began using a long cane. It was a Eye Clinic Liaison Officer (ECLO) at the hospital who suggested using a cane as it would allow me to maintain independence. After a few training sessions from a rehabilitation officer, that was it. I became a long cane user.

Several years have somehow passed. It has become part of my normal, the fact I would really struggle without it is a scary thought.

Exploring the feeling of reliance

When I started using a long cane I realised how useful it was. It helped me to know where kerbs were and stopped me tripping up over things. However, I could navigate without it. At the time I alternated between a walking stick and a long cane to manage my mobility. Using a long cane did make me realised that I had already started using my walking stick to feel for things like kerbs, yet mobilising without a cane was still possible at that time.

During the last few years I have documented my long cane journey in a series of blog posts. As I look back at these I can see the progression in my thoughts. For me, being able to use a long cane before my sight deteriorated was a blessing in disguise. Yet I never envisaged a time where I would rely on it. In an odd sort of way, I’m still waiting for the day when I need a long cane. That day seems to have passed without me acknowledging it. Maybe that’s just how it is. One day you wake up and realise how things truly are.

As someone who likes to just get on with life, there is some element of determination (read stubbornness) that is hesitant of becoming reliant on anything. However, if I look around me it’s that reliance that enabled my independence:

• My AFO splints are needed if I walk any kind of distance.
• I need painkillers to keep me moving.
• I’m reliant on glasses, sunglasses and assistive technology to read and perform many tasks throughout the day.
• I need a long cane to navigate when outside.

The power of adaption

On the other hand, I’m proud of how I have adapted to the changes over the last few years. Yet it’s almost happened without me realising. As a fond problem solver, working around limitations is second nature. I believe there is almost always a way round a challenge or problem, even if that means the addition of equipment or doing things completely differently.

But I guess the uncertainty doesn’t help. Adaption is all well and good, but are you adapting continually in order to keep up? At times it can feel like you’re treading water. You figure out how to do something and then that method becomes inaccessible. Recently I have moved from always using enlarged text to using a screenreader and trialing other forms of audio. That’s not to say enlarged text is completely inaccessible, it’s just becoming harder and more time consuming to read, and that’s okay!

I don’t need to justify the adaptions I make. If it allows me to access information quickly or navigate safety, why do I feel the need to fight against it? Here’s your reminder that using assistive technology or changing how you do something is not a weakness.

Using a long cane

There are still some days where I don’t want to use a long cane, but I do feel these are more fleeting as time has gone on. Using a cane has become normal. But why do I feel like this reliance is a negative? Is it a bad thing that I have found a mobility aid that helps? Adapting and reliance doesn’t need to be portrayed as a negative. We have not given in or given up, quite the opposite!

Using a long cane might have taken a long time to get used to, but independence is all disabled people want to strive for. As a young adult this is potentially even more prevalent and important. However, there still can be a mental barrier that wants to resist this change. With the support of others, time and practice, it does become easier.

This was never meant to happen, but that’s okay.

~ Chloe x