It’s been a while…

The last blog post I wrote was in August. Where have the last few months gone? I’d just started a new job and lots of things were happening. I never intended to take a break from writing, but I certainly have a lot of things to fill you in on!

In a nutshell, my body is tired, but my heart is very happy.

Dezzie update

Dezzie and I have been a partnership since 23rd June 2023, so we’re quickly approaching a year and a half together. After your first year, you have an assessment and you can start exploring more and gain further independence.

Having Dezzie has changed my life. Yet I believe the full potential of this has only been apparent recently. When you have a guide dog, the first 6 months are crucial, and the first year is vital when it comes to forming a bond and learning how to work together. I’ve learnt his limits, and he’s learnt mine. I know when he’s having an off day and I’m sure he knows when I am too.

For me, further independence has shown itself through solo overnight trips:

• Manchester with work colleagues
• Glasgow to talk at the CP Scotland conference
• London for a work conference
• Girls trip in London (this is happening in December!)

Changing jobs

Having Dezzie, and knowing I have that independence is one of the reasons I was confident enough to apply for another job. Many roles can involve travelling, this would have been near impossible before I got Dezzie. While my job is still home-working to accommodate my own needs, traveling is no longer off the table.

I still couldn’t work in the office every day, but once a month trips are a welcome change, even if they are tiring! It’s the right balance, especially during the warmer months. It also means I get to meet my colleagues in person.

Independence

Independence is being able to pop into some shops after meeting a friend for brunch. Without Dezzie I would have met them at the station and then they’d have walked me back again.

I feel like a teenager again, with this newfound independence for the first time. At times I feel like I missed out on that. Yes I still did lots of things, saw people and socialised. But this feels different. It’s doing it alone, and there’s something very freeing about that. Aside from when I trained with Dezzie, I was 26 years old the first I stayed in a hotel by myself. It almost sounds silly, but it’s a big achievement, even if it is daunting.

Also, it’s less mental energy to leave the house. Dezzie takes away all the guess work of using a long cane. I didn’t realise how mental exhausting it was before I got him. At the start or our partnership, we were both still learning, it was mental energy in a different way. Now it’s become second nature. It’s not easy, but it’s certainly a lot easier than it was. I hope this continues to be the case as we learn more about each other. It’s always a sobering reminder when I do use my long cane again.

Have I taken too much on… probably. But right now it’s about doing things now and recovering later. It’s sleeping 12 hours on a Saturday night to catch up. It’s holding out for the 2 weeks off at Christmas, and I’m okay with that. The year of 2024 really has been ‘go big or go home’.

I’m engaged!

If solo trips and independence wasn’t exciting enough, I got engaged!

Nearly 6 weeks ago, George asked me to marry him. This still seems so surreal and I still get emotional thinking about it. We were on a weekend trip to Wales with some friends. We’d had some awful rain, but Saturday 19th October it was glorious sunshine! We’d gone to the beach for a picnic lunch. Turns out everyone already knew and the lunch also included Prosecco. Thank you George for such a beautiful and unexpected moment. I feel very lucky.

There’s a reason why I’ve chosen to mention it here. Yes it’s a big life event, but it’s more than that. As a teenager, I never thought this would happen to me. I know that sounds silly. But that’s what it felt like. No one would want to manage all of this. Why would you choose to marry me when you could marry someone who was non-disabled? It’d be a lot easier… Being married always seemed like a dream that would never happen. Of course disabled people are worthy of love, but I never showed myself that same compassion.

I’m very glad to have got that one wrong. Wedding plans have started, but I’m also just enjoying engaged life.

Looking to 2025

This almost feels like a reflection on the last year. The Christmas tree is up, the cold weather has started, and I’m ready for some hibernation. I didn’t have any major plans for 2024, but it’s turned into a pretty huge year. Yeah I haven’t done much freelance work, blog posts or events — but I’ve seen all the theatre shows and done a lot of exploring!

I’ve got a few exciting things planned, but as far as blogging is concerned, this will be the last one for 2024. I’m unsure what 2025 will bring, but thank you for sticking around.

Enjoy the festive period, and slow down if you can. See you in 2025!

~ Chloe x