5 years for ‘Life as a Cerebral Palsy student’

Up to this point I had been able to keep up with friends, with the disabling affects of Cerebral Palsy being pretty minimal. I was not particularly a fan of splints when I was younger but I just accepted that they were there. At the age of fifteen CP had resigned to a back seat and that’s how I liked it. However, the back seat was no longer good enough- how could I justify the pain I was in or the fact that keeping up with the able- bodied appearance was no longer as easy as it once was.

I guess ‘Life as a Cerebral Palsy student’ wanted to highlight the internal struggles that weren’t always visible. I didn’t want my CP to be an excuse to not go shopping with friends, yet I couldn’t convey that without making it sound like I was playing the ‘disabled card’. I have been brought up to laugh and to keep trying- the inner stubborn nature was having trouble realising that maybe I cannot do the same things that others can. I wanted my blog to be honest and I hope 5 years of posts have done that. For some reason I realised I could explain things through writing. I could make things make sense to myself in the process. Writing is a powerful tool and it is a privilege to be able to document my life in such a way. Through the years I think it is far to say that I have explored many areas within writing and progressed in the topics that I feel confident enough to write about- with the world being able to follow the educational journey of an ordinary student with Cerebral Palsy.

I have throughly enjoyed the chance to connect with so many incredible people- other people with CP who have opened my eyes to their world and taught me more about my own condition. They have taught me that doing things your own way is not a sign of weakness, but that it is a sign of life. These people help me to feel part of a community where it is okay to wobble and they will catch you when you fall, in every sense of the word. I am in a community who can say “I know” and mean it 100%. A community who understands the importance of small victories and will celebrate them wholeheartedly.

I am not the only Cerebral Palsy blogger to exist- no where near, yet everyone’s journey is unique and it is okay to make your own path in life. It is okay to change directions and sometimes just stand still and take in the view. This is definitely something we must do more of- standing still, appreciate where you are in life, how far you have come, and how much you have overcome. I too am guilty of getting caught up in the stresses of life, deadlines and wishing the horrible winter months away! As the five year anniversary approached I have looked over the 90 blog posts of content, realising the progression I have made, not only academically or physically- but within writing. Gaining the ability to explain things and feeling confident enough to do so. Also, I think coming up with new content is quite a feat in itself!

You see, strength has nothing to do with positivity. strength is crying and screaming and asking ‘Why me?!’, but continuing on anyway because you have to. I do not want anyone to fight my battles for me. I just want support and understanding while I fight them myself. Strength has nothing to do with positivity. But positivity can give you strength.

It would be fair to say that it has been quite an eventful 5 years, but I actually wouldn’t change it. Challenges have been overcome and awareness still prevails, even if it is about hate crime. You have followed me through GCSE’s, A-Levels, university, adjusting to a wheelchair, decreasing in mobility, gaining mobility, seizures, hospital admissions, university halls, award ceremonies, charity events, hate crime, career changes, two work placements, deteriorating eyesight and probably a lot more I have forgotten. Not every person with a disability is obliged to raise awareness, or in fact be a Paralympian. Our role in society is allowed to be ordinary, long behold the fact that we are actually like the rest of the population! Yet I feel honoured to take on the title of a disability advocate, and I believe I am going to have some sort of role within this my whole life. 

But what have you enjoyed the most? According to blog views that would have to be ‘Observations from a Part- time Wheelchair User‘ and ‘A letter to my newly diagnosed self‘- I would probably have to agree with you! Those two pieces of writing both mean a lot, which makes it even more special when others can relate or find some kind of comfort from the work I produce. The posts weren’t ‘planned’ as such, being more of an ‘in the moment’ kind of thing.

On the other hand, the blog post that I also feel deserve a mention is the one about disability hate crime. Merely because it actually got posted and took me by far the longest to write, 13 months, and a true example of when I use writing to help myself. With the ‘What would I tell a parent of a child with Cerebral Palsy?‘ being a close second, this was the first post to be published by The Mighty and I felt that I filled a gap amongst the hundreds upon hundreds of posts out there. By seeing CP more than just the effect on the individual, but as a condition that affects all involved. Not only have posts like this expanded the audience of my blog, but also led me to knowing more about my own condition. It is crazy to think that at the age of fifteen I had not formally met someone with CP. Sure, I’d been out of the house and noticed someone else who walked the way I do. You tend to be able to spot people who have the same condition as yourself.

CP Teens UK are to thank for this one, Ellie is probably going to tell me off for being all soppy- but CP Teens has changed my life. I hadn’t been writing this blog for long when I came across, what was a non- profit organisation at the time, but I am so glad that I did. I’ve had the chance to meet so many people with CP. Not only that, I met Ellie, my best friend, partner in crime and all- round amazing human! To have a group of friends with CP is really the best, to have that level of understanding really does form a unique bond between a group of people- and who doesn’t want to all be on the dance floor and see who falls over first! Not only that, but CP Teens has given me confidence. Having self- confidence is extremely important regardless of having a disability, but for some having a disability can act as a barrier to gaining this confidence. I believe it is this new found confidence that enabled me to continue writing and progress onto things like public speaking!

If I was to give you all a piece of advice it would be: go for it. Grab that opportunity, get out of your comfort zone and fight for what you believe in. The results will surpass your wildest dreams and you certainly will not regret it!

5 years, 32 articles, 43 partnerships, 90 blog post and nearly 60,000 views- thank you!

~ Chloe x